Steps to My Healing from Childhood Abuse/Traumas

For years I had emotional pain from childhood abuse/traumas. Once I became a Christian, Jesus began to heal me, little by little, layer by layer. If He can help me, He can help anyone. Our healing journeys may be different, but the ultimate result will be the same—freedom.

I’m not a professional counselor, but I wanted to share the steps Jesus used to heal me:

  • Breaking the silence. After I became a Christian I began to openly talk about the abuse I endured. The more I shared my secrets, the freer I became.
  • Prayer. I sought my healing as if my life depended upon it. I spent many hours in prayer seeking my healing.
  • Reading and studying the bible. As I read and studied the bible, it renewed my mind. The negative thoughts that consumed my life were replaced with positive ones.
  • Forgiving my abuser. I was so grateful to God that He had forgiven me for my behavior during my wild years, I wanted to extend forgiveness to my uncle. It was also something I did in obedience to what the Bible says God asks us to do. I would never have been able to forgive my uncle before I became a Christian, nor did I ever want to. It was God’s power that enabled me to do so. When I forgave him, it didn’t mean what he did to me was okay. However, it did mean I was no longer imprisoned by anger and hatred towards him.
  • Seeking godly counsel. God used female Christian counsel to give me insight into the root cause of some unresolved issues and suggestions on how to address them. Godly counsel is a wonderful option when we cannot resolve issues on our own.
  • Accepting what happened. Being able to accept what I endured was very much a part of my healing. However, I could not have done this without God’s help.
  • Forgiving myself. For years I blamed myself for not telling what my uncle did to me. Once I forgave myself, I was freed from the self-condemnation that plagued me for years.
  • Reading Christian books on emotional healing. God used Christian books I read on emotional healing to help me. They enabled me to understand why I felt the way I did after I was abused, and why I behaved the way I did after I was abused. Some of these books included: “The Bondage Breaker” by Dr. Neil Anderson and “Freeing Your Mind from Memories that Bind” by Florence Littauer.
  • Praying for My Abuser. It took me years to pray for my abuser. Once I did, I finally felt free from the hold his actions had on me.

I hope you are encouraged to know you don’t have to stay stuck in the pain of your past. John 8:36 says, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

I was in our kitchen when the phone rang. Though the number was unfamiliar, I picked it up.

“Mommm,” cried the young adult male voice at the other end of the line.

I had seen segments on the news where swindlers would call unsuspecting persons, pretending to be a family member who is kidnapped and held for ransom. So often they would be scammed out of thousands of dollars. As someone who has never born a child, I suspected it was a scam rather than a wrong number.

“What’s wrong?” I asked with sincerity.

“I’ve been in an accident.”

“Oh no, are you hurt? Are you in the hospital?” I asked with great concern.

“No, but I’m in trouble.”

He went on to tell me he had been arrested and needed money for bail. My thoughts raced trying to come up with the right response that could have a positive impact on him.

“I’m so sorry,” he whined.

“That’s okay,” I replied sympathetically. “As long as you’re not hurt.”

He gave me the phone number of a lawyer and an account number for wiring the funds.

“Do you know Jesus?” were the only words that came out of my mouth.

“Everybody does,” he responded. Click!

I was expecting him to hang up, but not his verbal response. How sad he didn’t use his talent for good instead of evil.

There are so many people who fall for these fake callers. I’m surprised that some don’t recognize the voice isn’t that of their supposed family member. Perhaps they’re hard of hearing? Or perhaps they’re caught by the element of surprise? Or maybe they’re just naive?

It made me wonder how many of us recognize God’s voice when He speaks to us? I definitely know He’s spoken to me on several occasions.

One particular time was a few years after I became a Christian. I was watching “The 700 Club” tv show, and the guest speaker was sharing her testimony and a book she had written. At that moment, I thought, One day I’m going to be on this show, and I’m going to write a book. I was puzzled as to why I would think such a thing. I knew the thought had to come from God, even though it appeared to be from me. I had learned that our thoughts can sometimes come from God, or even from Satan, though they seem like our own.

About 16 years later I shared my testimony on “The 700 Club,” and 18 years after that I wrote my memoir, “The Road to Mercy.”

John 10:27 says, “My sheep hear my voice; and I know them, and they follow me.”

We would all do well to learn to recognize when God is putting a thought into our mind. When He speaks to us, He won’t be trying to swindle us, like that phone scammer. Quite the contrary. When He speaks to us, it will only be for our good.

Made New Again

Every few months I drop off some items at one of my favorite thrift stores. It’s one of the nicest ones around, run by a local church.

On my last visit I was headed out of the store when I noticed some Christmas decorations that appeared to be in good condition. I hadn’t purchased any in years, and decided we could use an additional piece or two. Among the items that caught my attention was a beautiful fruit/floral arrangement in an antiqued gold pot. It had deep burgundy apples and berries, and large green and burgundy leaves with gold brushed throughout.

I picked up the piece to locate the price. It was surprisingly lightweight as if it was made of foam. Three dollars! I couldn’t resist taking it home.

“Wally, look what I just got for $3.00 at Hope Thrift,” I told him as soon as I got home. “We could use this for Christmas or even after Christmas,” I said as I placed it on the center kitchen countertop.

“Oh no! It’s damaged,” I exclaimed when I noticed one of the four corners of the gold base was chipped, exposing a white substance.

“Had I seen that in the store, I wouldn’t have purchased it,” I said with disappointment. I knew all sales were final.

“Why don’t you just touch it up with some paint,” Wally suggested.

“That’s a great idea.”

Shortly thereafter I went up to my craft room and found some gold matte paint and a sponge brush. In less than five minutes, I brushed the white damaged corner with gold paint. Not bad.

After it dried I showed it to Wally. “You have to really look at it to notice it’s missing a chunk out of the corner,” I told him.

“You can’t even tell,” he replied.

I assume the previous owners donated the arrangement because it was damaged. To me, it’s a lovely piece now displayed on a small chest in our foyer.

Repairing the pot made me think about my relationship with God. Before I was a Christian, I had many wounds because of my childhood. In spite of my imperfections, God pursued me. He saw potential in me and knew that he could heal those wounds and make me whole again.

After I surrendered my life to Christ and became a Christian on Christmas night 1980, my life dramatically changed. My interests changed. My thoughts changed. My habits changed. It was as if I gradually became brand spanking new!

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; all things become new.

I’m so glad that God doesn’t overlook us or toss us aside when we’re wounded in any way. Instead, He sees our potential. With a little, or maybe a lot, of His repair work, anyone can be made new again!

(Below is a “before” photo of the arrangement in our kitchen with the chip in the lower left corner.)

The second is the “after” photo of the arrangement in our foyer with the painted area in the lower right corner.)

God Sees You!

Do you know that God sees you? With 8.2 billion people on this earth, God sees you! That means you, individually, not collectively. But you, personally, with all of your feelings, thoughts and experiences. I know this to be true because of what happened to me.

I once was a young woman without hope. No hope of escaping the pain of my childhood traumas. No hope of feeling normal or living a normal life. No hope of being happy.

Because of those traumas I wasn’t sure what to believe about God. I surmised that either He didn’t exist, or if He did, He had forgotten about me. So I forgot about him.

That is until I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and became a Christian on Christmas night 1980. After that evening, God began to transform my heart, my life, and everything about me.

In a very short period of time, God healed me of the negative impact of those childhood traumas. I was no longer the walking wounded trying to get by, one day at a time, and trying to escape the darkness that hung over me for years. I was and still am me. But I became a better version of me.

Maybe you’ve had childhood traumas like I did, or multiple negative experiences as an adult where you feel all alone. Maybe you believe that God isn’t real. Or, if He is real, He has forgotten about you. Or maybe you feel your life has no meaning or purpose. You believe there is no hope for your life to change. I know that feeling.

I can assure you, He does see you. He knows. He cares. Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” And Isaiah 49:16 says, “I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

God also has a plan and purpose for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

So, if you think God has forgotten about you, rest assured. He knows you. And He knows what you’re going through. But, it’s up to us to seek Him.

As I lay in bed on Christmas night many years ago wishing I was never born, I thought about becoming a Christian. Having resisted the advice of my friend to do so for months, I asked myself, “What have I got to lose?” And I was right. I lost nothing and gained everything.

So if you’re down and out this Christmas season, feeling hopeless, why not give Jesus a chance? What on earth have you got to lose? Absolutely nothing.

How Does God Want us to Vote?

It’s almost Election Day, though millions have already cast their ballots. How does God want us to vote? Let’s look to see what the Bible has to say.

Abortion: This is a huge issue. Neither presidential candidate is completely pro-life. But one VP candidate is pro-abortion through the ninth month, and it is law in the state where he is governor.

    What does God have to say about this? Two of the many scriptures on murder are Exodus 20:13, “Thou Shalt Not Kill,” and Proverbs 6:16-19, “There are six things that the Lord hates….hands that shed innocent blood.”

    Gender Identity: One political party (the same one mentioned in #1) is pushing an ideology that there are more than two genders—ie, you can be either a boy or a girl, neither boy nor girl, half boy or girl, fluctuate between the two, or even be assigned the wrong sex at birth. In some states if parents object to their children wishing to “transition,” the government can intervene and strip the parents of their rights.

    God says in Genesis 5:2, “He created them male and female and blessed them.”

    Israel: That same political party referenced above does not fully support Israel. Many in that party are pro-Palestinian instead. There are those in this party who hate Israel and have been very vocal about it even before the October 7th attack on Israel.

    God says in Leviticus 25:23, “The land is the Lord’s land, and it is His to assign and dispose of.” Referring to Israel in Genesis 12:3, He says, “I will bless those who bless thee.”

    Border Security: That same political party has opened wide the border and let in millions of unvetted illegal immigrants who have wreaked havoc on this country in every manner–crime, housing, the economy, etc. The other presidential candidate wants an orderly, legal immigration system.

    Are borders and walls necessary? Absolutely. Even the Holy City in Heaven has walls and gates around it. Revelation 21:12-13 refers to it: “It had a great high wall with twelve gates, and with twelve angels at the gates…There were three gates on the east, three on the north, three on the south and three on the west.”

    These are just a few of the important issues to look at.

    You may not like the personality of a certain candidate, but this is not a personality contest. This is about policy, and how a candidate’s policies will affect the future of this nation.

    As Christians, we are to be followers of Christ. When Jesus walked this earth, he always did what his father wanted, even to the cross. He lived a selfless life. If we are to be His followers, we should do the same.

    The Perfect Imperfect People

    Does God use imperfect people? Absolutely.

    One of the greatest examples of this is the story of David vs. Goliath. When a nine-foot Philistine named Goliath was harassing the Israelites daily, challenging just one of them to fight him in a winner take all battle, not one Israeli soldier accepted his challenge.

    Enter David, a young Israeli shepherd boy. While bringing food to his brothers on the battlefield, he heard the giant’s challenge. With faith and courage that God would enable him to defeat this evil giant, he agreed to fight him one-on-one. Goliath laughed at him. David took his slingshot, slung a stone, and struck the giant in the forehead. He instantly fell to the ground–dead.

    As a young shepherd boy he was anointed to be the future king of Israel. During his reign he committed adultery with Bathsheba who was married. When Bathsheba became pregnant by him, he made sure her husband was killed on the battlefield to cover up her adulterous pregnancy. David repented of his sins and God used him to write many of the Old Testament’s psalms. In Acts 13:22, God calls David a “man after his own heart.”

    The New Testament also tells us of imperfect individuals God chose to carry out his will.

    After Jesus died and Christianity was spreading, a young very religious Jewish man named Saul believed this new faith to be a false religion and blasphemous. He persecuted the early believers, capturing and imprisoning them for their faith. Until one day when Jesus spoke to him. He became a believer, and God changed his name to Paul.

    God then called Paul to be an evangelist who ended up writing most of the New Testament. The Jewish believers were terrified of Paul, not trusting the sincerity of his faith. He eventually won their confidence and their respect. Over the course of his lifetime, he was beaten, stoned, imprisoned and whipped for his faith and preaching. He continued his mission until he was executed by Rome for his faith.

    Were David or Paul perfect individuals? Certainly not. But they had courage and faith. And repentance. They knew they could accomplish what God called them to do, despite the seemingly absurd calling on their lives.

    There are numerous examples of imperfect men and women throughout history who were called and used by God.

    1 Samuel 16:7 says, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

    I believe God looks for people He can use that possess courage and faith no matter their imperfections. No matter their pasts.

    Let’s always keep our eyes open to what God wants to do, especially when he chooses the perfect imperfect person to do it. We wouldn’t want to miss what God is doing. Now would we?

    Mr. Turtle

    The other day I was driving to the grocery store when I saw something up ahead inching across the four-lane road. I thought it was a squirrel dragging a leaf. I slowed down. As I got closer, I realized it was a turtle.

    I pulled over, put my hazard lights on, and got out of the vehicle. He was huge! I picked up this heavy creature with both hands holding him at the back of his body so he couldn’t bite me. He immediately drew his head into his shell. It was only a few feet to a grassy area on the side of the road. I faced him away from the street and drove off.

    What if he goes back into the road? I pulled over at the next intersection and walked about a block and a half to where I left him. Sure enough, he had turned around headed towards the street. I didn’t realize there was a black chain link fence blocking his path where I had placed him.

    Now what do I do? I picked him up again and looked for a safer place.

    The fence enclosed a baseball field and went on for quite a distance along the grassy area.I knew there was a pond up ahead about a half mile and headed that way. I had often seen many large turtles on my daily walk sunning on the rocks or diving into that pond when I tried to photograph them.

    It began to rain so I picked up my pace. I knew he had to be frightened and was relieved he didn’t come out and try to bite me.

    “Just hold on,” I told him. “I’m trying to save your little behind.”

    I eventually arrived at the grassy area around the pond, walked down the hill, and put him on the ground along the water’s edge.

    “There you go Mr. Turtle,” I said as I gave him a light pat on the behind.

    He took off for the water. Splash!

    Mr. Turtle didn’t understand I was keeping him from danger, but I know he was happy once he was released.

    My adventure with Mr. Turtle reminded me of my mid-twenties. My life was headed in the wrong direction. But God had a stranger pray for me. For two years. During that time, God reached out to me, but I didn’t listen. Yet, He still pursued me. And then after I became a Christian, I realized He had intervened in my life, showing me the right direction.

    Isaiah 30:21 says, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

    I don’t know if turtles are attuned to the voice of God. But we humans can be. If we learn to recognize it, I’m sure He will point us in the right direction. Just like I did Mr. Turtle.